I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
