Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
