I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
