R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
