Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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