Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
