I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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