You're my little dorito
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
