Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
