i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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