i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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