just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I pour the whiskey from now on
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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