I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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