What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he puts the penis in happiness.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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