Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
