Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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