i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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