So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
