Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
