is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
