if only i could text you this smell
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
