Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
