Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize