I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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