can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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