the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
