Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
