I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
