Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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