my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
