recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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