Fuck appropriateness.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
