He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i will never coherently bang her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
