omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
