a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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