I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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