I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
