Buhtt sex?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
