absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Found the puke drawer
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize