Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
