He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
