idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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