I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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