I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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