We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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