Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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