I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
