Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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