Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The adults are the big ones right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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