You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
