my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
