My nipple is on Facebook.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
