I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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